As I hit my one month anniversary of living in Kansas City, I don’t think I come anywhere close to fitting the typical stereotype of women in her early 20’s living here.
My favorite heels are stacked with a spur ridge, drink of choice is scotch on the rocks, casual dress Friday’s entail wildrags. I order my steak rare and the only sticker on my car is of the quarter-circle rocking M brand.
With that being said, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I couldn’t give a darn about anything relating to celebrity pop culture. Unless Sam Elliott shaves off his mustache or Justin Bieber gets deported, I don’t care.
That is until I stumbled across a web site for a company called Bite Labs. This Silicon Valley revolution food company is dreaming of taking petri dish meat to a whole new level – celebrity meats.
Celebrity meats, as in gourmet salami with James Franco’s DNA in it. This can’t be true, can it?
Here’s the breakdown of the business plan: Collect human stem cells from a public figure, plant them in a laboratory garden of science and bioreactors, add the grown product to a blend of animal sweet meats and seasonings, and voila – the public goes wild and the food industry is changed forever.
There are feed-yards in Texas that smell better than this scheme, so I contacted the company.
Surprisingly, someone only identifying themselves as Kevin from Bite Labs responded back fairly quickly and said he would only communicate by email. He then explained that majority of people working on the project have requested to stay anonymous due to the controversial nature of the product.
And before we get any further, I want to point out that Kevin had answers for all of my questions except on how they were going to get FDA approved. But that’s just a minor detail.
According to Kevin, Bite Labs is focusing heavily on collecting market interest to find celebrities willing to be turned into an appetizer.
“Our current campaign is to generate celebrity interest and involvement so that we can develop a prototype with celebrity meat,” Kevin said. “While our current efforts are proceeding headlong towards a lab prototype, it will be some time before this product enters the market.”
And work to create public awareness they have. On their web site, Bite Labs has a complete social media campaign encouraging the average Joe to Tweet at their favorite flavor or celeb with #EatCelebrityMeat. Sounds like the kind of joke you’d hear in a fraternity house, but Kevin says in the last three days that social media handle has had traffic up to 10,000 hits.